There's more to being happy

By Esther Rachel Lai. - 4/02/2017

Hey everyone, I know I haven't updated the space for over a week now but don't worry, I'm not going to let this space die. I still have loads to write about and a few more vlogs to post up so keep watching this space!

Getting my hair done at The Comb right now and since it's going to be a long wait for my hair to be done, I thought I'd do one of those rare candid updates where I ramble and you beautiful people, interest yourselves enough to read about my life (I still get deeply humbled whenever people tell me that they read my blog so, thank you!)

2017 has been really great so far, they say you can't have a rainbow without the storm and it's so so true. I'm so glad that things are looking up this year considering how difficult and painful last year turned out to be. Moving forward, my mental state of mind is in a much much healthier frame than it's ever been in the past 5-6 years. There's really more than meets the eye when it comes to being happy. I recently read an online article about a man who exhausted his youth in the pursuit of money and material that now at 40, despite having have all the money he needs, he's more unhappy than he's ever been.

The past few years, I'd been in that situation, choosing to stay in a dead-end, mundane job just so I could have more money for the kids. I was constantly unhappy, constantly depressed and constantly fatigued. Choosing to end it all in December last year and finally seizing the opportunity to  pursue my passion has definitely got to be one of the best decisions I've made. Backed with the support of my husband who told me "Go for it, it's high time you did something for yourself. I'll help with the kids, the kids won't die." I've never been happier and more thankful.

Back then, I thought you know, even though that wasn't what I wanted to do, it's where I needed to be and that that was enough. Little did I know how it'll take a toll on me mentally. I found myself in a constant state of depression, always wanting out, crying every now and then about how much I hated my job and how I always felt "trapped" or "stuck". It affected me physically as well with me being tired and fatigued 24/7 - Shane could vouch for all of that. 

It's only been 3 months since I started chasing my dreams and it's apparent to me how being happy really matters. I've so much more motivation in life, much more patience with the kids, I no longer feel tired day-to-day and I don't lose my shit as often anymore. I cannot imagine what would have become of me in another 5-10 years had I not pulled the plug and say enough is enough. I understood that age was catching up on me and I'm only ever gonna be in my twenties for so long. I was already in my mid-twenties and if I wanted to do anything, it had to be now or never.

I didn't realise the importance of holding steadfast onto your dreams until I finally chased my dreams. I had reliquished the thought of ever being able to do what I loved and resigned to my fate. I thought I'd be okay but I never was.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, really, don't give up on your dreams. It's an overused phrase but it holds so much weight if you really think about it. It's okay to put it on hold for a while because sometimes priorities set in and take over but don't put it on hold forever. I put my dreams on hold for the sake of my kids for 5-6 years but when the opportunity came, I seized it with two hands. It's never too late until you really give up. You only got one life. Don't waste it pursuing things that doesn't give sustenance to your soul. Hold onto your dreams & be sure to act on it whenever possible or your dreams will only ever remain as just a dream. A good friend of mine once told me "Do what you love, and money will follow after".


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