7 Reasons Why Women Shouldn't Expect To Be Pampered

By Esther Rachel Lai. - 7/22/2015

By pampered I mean pampered by their other halves

If there's one thing being in a relationship/marriage with Shane has taught me, it's definitely mutual respect. These days, the minds of the females are clouded with unrealistic views on how relationships are supposed to be like through fictional dramas and movies we see on the screens. While it's all very entertaining to watch, for some girls however, these shows have subconciously become a benchmark for what's to be expected in a guy when it comes to relationships. It always has to do with the guy scaling mountains for a girl. Undeniably, it's all very romantic and it sends our heart in flutters BUT it isn't what relationships are supposed to be based upon.

Surprisingly, when I tell friends of how if I were to storm off in anger in a public place, Shane wouldn't chase after me and would instead head the other direction, they give me the same kind of pitiful reaction. But Shane's reasoning is "if you're gonna embarrass me in public, don't expect me to chase after you like a fool." At the start of our relationship, whenever this happened, I'd get even more mad that he wouldn't put his ego down to "chase" after me but over time I realised, hey, he actually has a point. Why should I expect him to be at my beck and call when I had first blatantly disrespected and humiliated him in public? It all boils down to one thing - mutual respect. & because it irks me till no end when I hear girls play on the whole warped "because I'm a girl" idea, here's 7 reasons why I think girls should not EXPECT to be pampered.

Reality check sista. You're not a princess and he's not your slave. Being in a relationship doesn't mean he has to take all the shit you throw at him just because you're "the weaker sex". It's ironic because most girls who expect to be treated like princesses are also the first to put their hands up for gender equality - but for all the wrong reasons. The same way we'd cringe and rebutt "are you looking for a maid or a wife?!" when we hear of a man who looks for a woman who does all the housework, cooks and wash on top of working full-time, are you then also looking for a lover, someone to share your hopes and dreams, your joy and sorrows with or someone who's a slave to your happiness? Gender equality goes beyond women's rights.
If you want to be treated like a queen, make sure you're first treating your man like a king.

There's nothing wrong with being pampered and loved by your other half. But there's something very wrong when you constantly expect and demand to be pampered. Look at it this way: your man surprising you with gifts on his own accord vs you demanding he get you something that you want. If anyone's to be pampered, it should be because he wants to not because he feels obliged to.

Your happiness shouldn't depend on someone else's ability to make you feel good. I cannot stress enough how many times I've heard guy friends find strong, independent women attractive and whiney little needy girls, quite the opposite.
It also shows a certain level of maturity that distinguishes a woman from a girl.

Your friends probably won't say it to your face but flaunting how pampered you are doesn't make anyone envious. It just makes you look really really spoilt
& nobody appreciates a diva attitude. 

Which brings me to my next point.

Bragging about how your man gives in to all your wants and needs doesn't just make you look bad, it makes him look like a wuss and the people around the both of you will lose their respect for him. & it doesn't help either when you order him around your friends. Your expectations of him will show in your actions no matter how you try to "humble" yourself and make yourself look like an angel. While it may feel good being "served" & the ego boost of having the "upperhand" in the relationship might be addictive, the way you treat your man, whether you build him up or put him down speaks more about you than him. People will only pity your other half but the impression they'll have of you certainly won't be a very pleasing one. Take it from me, his friends are probably begging him to ditch you and your spoilt rotten ass.
Making princessy demands doesn't make you a princess, it makes you look like a complete b*tch.

You've heard that love is a two-way street, that it's about give and take, but have you also heard that the more you give into a relationship, the more you receive? As the feminine sex, we tend to be the ones on the receiving end but it wouldn't harm to show the same love and appreciation back to your partner. The more a man feels like he's loved and appreciated, the more likely he'll want to do more for you. Afterall, everyone gets sick of being expected and demanded to pamper and love someone but nobody gets sick from loving. That being said, you shouldn't be giving just because you're expecting to receive either.
It doesn't always have to be the man showering the woman with love and affection. It works the other way round too.

Love is more than lavish gifts and sweet nothings. Love comprises of deeper things that you should be looking for in a partner - a listening ear, a friendship and unspoken bond between two people, trust and mutual respect. These things are worth so much more in a relationship than being treated like a pampered princess. Afterall, you're not looking for a sugar daddy are you? Love cannot be demanded. It needs to be nurtured between two individuals and built upon a solid foundation not on superficial matters. Everyone has their own way of loving and just because he doesn't love you the way you want him to, doesn't mean he doesn't love you. There a billion other people in the world but he chose you. Respect and appreciate that enough to cherish him instead of making demands to be treated like a princess.
Don't make him regret his decision for choosing you over all the rest in the first place. 

And of course girls, not expecting to be pampered is one thing but if a guy treats you like dirt, please have the courage and sanity to walk away because you are worth more than that :)

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  1. Such a wonderful read! (: -Joanne

    1. Thank you for reading! I'm humbled that you enjoyed the entry!

  2. Hello enjoyed reading this, I strongly agree with this topic...some people just need to humble themselves.

  3. Amongst the tons of “how your boyfriend should treat you”-articles, this is a gem I found. Thank you for putting my thoughts into words!

  4. Froma man that hates feminism. You nailed!!Agreed with every point. Those one's seeking pampering are kids, thry shouldn't be in a relationship