Keep calm.

By Esther Rachel Lai. - 1/27/2015

Breathe. I need to breathe & take a chill pill.

I've never known myself to be a pessimist but these days I find myself a metal wreck. I know it's ridiculous to be stressing over my degree (which i registered for yesterday) even before I've started classes but somehow I can't stop myself from panicking and having anxiety attacks or stop the negative thoughts telling me "I can't do it" that's bringing me close to tears :(

7 bridging modules! I've to take 7 bridging modules!

No thanks to my arts diploma that has been rendered useless in this industry. It's not so much of the number of modules I've to take but rather, bridging modules take up both Saturdays and Sundays & it's a full day of class (9-6/9-5) on those days! 

Okay, quite frankly I know myself what the reason to this anxiety and depression is. & I know how ridiculous it's going to sound but I guess it's the thought of having A LOT LESS time for Kylie. With my weekends burnt and a few weekdays per week dedicated to night classes and also assignments / mugging, I'm gonna have very very little time left to spend with her during the course of my degree. 
& i know it's  ridiculous because it's only gonna be one and a half years maybe slightly more & i know it's all for the sake of a better future for not just me but fo our entire little family but the thought of it still kills me inside

Maybe it wouldn't be as bad as I thought it'll be once I've really started my bridging course next weekend but for now, the thought's almost unbearbly daunting. I frequently think to myself that I probably need Kylie a lot more than she needs me. Heh. Gotta learn to get my thoughts straightened and not let negativity eat me up.

It's gonna be okay, I can do this. Right? 

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