Two thousand fourteen.

By Esther Rachel Lai. - 12/31/2014

As the year is coming to a close, & my thoughts aplenty, a blogpost on what 2014 had to offer is all the norm. 

I would say 2014 is a year of lessons, hard lessons and also a year that's thrusted me and my family out of an abyss and into the light. Back in 2013, I wanted out of the banking industry so badly and I got what I wanted, I was out of the banking industry and into a working environment i love, doing what i love. But even that joy was short lived and the start of 2014 saw me propelled into a depressive state with Shane hardly home due to his unit posting and me out of a job and stressing over the housing loan requirements. It was a very stressful time for me & that first month of 2014 consisted of me frequently calling up Shane while he's in camp and crying for no apparent reason every other day.
I'm glad, with the support of Shane, my parents and a couple of dear friends, i managed to pick myself back up and saw myself back in the banking industry. While some might mock at my stupidity to have left my first job in the banking industry in the first place, I however, think it was a very valuable lesson learnt. The grass isn't always greener on the other side and sometimes we just need to learn to be content with what we have. I had to run a full circle before truly realising what contentment meant and if I had the chance to reverse time, I wouldn't change a thing because you'll find that it's the tough times that makes you a better person and well, sometimes a little roughing up is all we need.
I remember telling Shane months back, how funny it is that with regards to my job now, you could say that everything's the same as my first, but with a new mentality, I'm so much more happier and instead of wanting out this time, I'm striving to do my best in my career, wherever it takes me.

With a stable job secured, and the housing loan for our future home more or less settled, mid 2014 was a relatively comfortable phase for our little family. We took our first family trip to Phuket where Kylie still speaks of how much she loves the country (even prayed last night that she'd be able to go to Thailand, Phuket).
Mid 2014 also had me tested for my patience, which i failed terribly. Life on the inside was well but on the outside, drama spewed & in more ways than one. I learnt though, that I need to better manage my own emotions regardless of what others do/say to me. Ultimately, i am the master of my own emotions. I made a lot of wrong calls losing my cool during that time. & was disgusted with the toxicity of social media to an extent that i had initially considered deleting my instagram, twitter, facebook and even this blog simply because, the less you know the better. Another reason why I considered quitting the cyber world was also because I realised that social media tend to distract me from family time and more often than not, I find it hard to give Kylie my undivided attention. 

In the end, as you can tell from my still active accounts, I decided not to delete my accounts but instead, learn to better take charge of my life and not let social media dominate it. Learning isn't an overnight process so i'm still at it, trying not to fumble my pocket for my phone every few minites. & like i said earlier, i'm also learning to take everything with a pinch of salt and not be too affected with what people post on their social media platform. As Paramore would sing it, "Ignorance is your (my) new bestfriend". Similarly for me, I hope as much to avoid using social media to spite as well because I know that I'm no angel & i'm guilty of that too. 

The last third of 2014 zoomed by a little too quickly. But as the saying goes, time passes when you're having fun. i had a well spent Christmas with friends and family close to heart & right now, i'm more than ready to embrace the new year and learn from my mistakes. The last third of 2014 also saw Shane successfully signing on with the SAF as a militant, breaking way for us into a future full of hopes and dreams as a family. What was once so far away, is now within arms reach for us. I cannot wait to see what blessings 2015 God has in store for us. Again, with all the blessings showered on us, I pray that we'll also be a blessing to those around us. I'm gonna be ushering 2015 with a new mindset and a new resolution that's perfectly declared in a bible verse, James 1:19 "My dear brothers & sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak & slow to become angry.". Quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to become angry. I don't usually have New Year resolutions but I sincerely hope that 2015, i'll be a better me. & with that, have a Happy New Year everyone!!

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