By Esther Rachel Lai. - 8/23/2011

Gon' be celebrating Ky's first month over at my grandma's place this Saturday. We're celebrating it a week earlier cause one of my uncles will be flying off to idk where the following week. It's just a small gathering for my family and friends to see Kylie, so I've only invited a few friends although I'd very much like to invite all those that have been there for me in one way or another. So if you're not invited, please don't be mad, it's nothing personal, just that if I really were to invite everyone on my list, that'll be a whole lot of people so I'm only inviting the ones who're closer to me. Ironically, these people don't include the ones I used to think I could always count (with the exception of the girls). I wouldn't wanna name names here but yeah, difficult situations really makes you see who'd really be there to catch you when you fall & those who're all about the talk but not the walk. Looking at the guestlist, I'd say I'm pretty blessed to have friends who genuinely care for and support me <3

K 'nuff of that. This Saturday, I'll also be heading home before heading to my grandma's to get dressed. I left most of my going out clothes there, & HOPEFULLY I'll be able to fit into my denim shorts nowww!! HEH HEH HEH! I don't even know why I'm so thrilled by the thought of slipping into my shorts! SOOOO SEXCITEDDD!!

& I realise I've never talked about my pregnancy experience. The whole 9 months or 39 weeks was pretty alright for me actually.

  • Firstly, I had no morning sickness like the usual pregnant ladies would have, so it saved me a lot of pain and distress.
  • I didn't eat double portions. In fact, I ate less than I normally would, don't ask me why, idek.
  • At 5 months pregnant, I only had a slight bulge, & if you didn't know me, you wouldn't even notice it.
  • & at 9 months pregnant, I looked only 5 months pregnant.
  • I had no stretch marks, & even now, I only have a little teeny bit of stretch marks that's barely even visible.
The only thing that bothered me a lot though, was the thought of going to school when my tummy grew bigger. I'd cry at night and stuff just cause I'd feel insecure. But Thank God for my friends and lecturers, they've all been so supportive. Pengs would cook lunch for me from time to time, Ken helped me carry my bag and laptop from the studio to the classroom once, Dawn & Celeste bought Kylie clothes, CM Yong would ask if I'm doing okay every now and then, Jeff & Vani helped me get more financial aid, Elvis would joke around in class & he'd show concern, & most of all, Gen, Rul, Yong, Edward, Roy, Alim, Sheena, Joanne, Fion, Hanif & Jane who've always got my back. If not for 'em idk how my life in school would've been.

At the start, living with Shane got me upset most of the times, not sure if it was the hormones that made me so emotional or what, but I'd get really disappointed & upset with him, & I'd cry myself to sleep most of the time. But then it got better & we learnt to give in to each other more, & so far, it's been good, we hardly quarrel these days.

I remember the time when we went to the clinic & for the first time, saw the ultrasound of Kylie. She was only 10 weeks old then, & she looked like a lil' baby hamster waving her limbs around. I stepped out of the clinic crying, it was also then that we decided to keep her. The next day, we texted our parents & had no reply for hours. We actually went crazy after we hit the "send" button & we jumped each time our phones rang. Dad was the first to reply, he told us to go back & talk to 'em. & so we did, he was angry of course, but more disappointed than furious I guess, which made me cry cause I felt like sucha disappointment. As Dad went on giving us a lecture, Mom came over to hug me & she told me not to cry, that what's done cannot be undone. That moment, I was finally able to see how much my Mom actually loved me. After getting through to my parents, we headed back to Shane's. By then, his mom & bro were already home but they didn't speak to us, so we just hid in his room awaiting his Dad's return & expecting him to be pissed mad. Shane's Dad is pretty scary when he's mad so you can guess how scared we were. When his Dad came home, he called us out & to our surprise, he spoke to us in a very calm & cool manner, his mom cried, & we later found out that she'd actually fainted at work upon receiving the text. His Dad spoke to us for 4 hours straight, he also said he's heartened to know that we made the decision to keep the baby.

So yeah, from there, we took it step by step & 39 weeks passed just like that.
Looking at Kylie now, I'd say even though we didn't plan for her, God did. I didn't have to defer a whole semester cause Kylie's due date was estimated 12 aug, which meant I could still continue studying with my peers while pregnant. & since they're having their 3 month internship now, I get to take a break for 3 months, then go back to complete my FYP with them, & finally, do my internship & graduate. If her due date was in July, I'd have to graduate much later & I wouldn't get to take my modules with my friends so Thank God for planning it all so nicely for me.

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