By Esther Rachel Lai. - 12/14/2010

i'm at edward's place now together with a few of the classmates, working on our assignment. i think i'm done already. heh. but i don't want to rub it in for them cause i don't think they're near completing and submission's tomorrow. anyway, things are like so...messy right now. why's it so hard to want to get things to work out? with every argument, you just slip even further our of grasp. i thought yesterday was a start, then we keep going back to square one :( and i know it's kinda my fault but if i keep mum about it then things will just eventually get to me right, so i'm just saying how i feeeeel. like..i don't want to sweep things under the rug cause it'll just become a mountain of problems in the end. and if all's clear, then at least i know and things are clear between us right? if i overreacted, then yes, it's my fault. but it's easy to jump to conclusions with all i found out about. this unsettling feeling just keeps coming back. i feel like having gelare ice cream to drown my sorrows with. actually, i feel like asking you out. but i won't. cause i don't wanna bug you. that's the whole stupid thing about this, i can't be like last time where i can ask you out wherever, whenever and not have to worry about it being annoying to you. SIGH. "don't sigh, everytime you do, another angel dies" i probably have killed half the angels in heaven by sighing already :(

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